I'm feeling rather disappointed in myself today. I'd been doing so well on a budgeting front this month, and successfully more or less hauled myself back from imminent poverty as the end of the month loomed, to the prospect of actually finishing the month with a bit of a surplus to go towards the credit cards.
Alas, it all went wrong yesterday. I had a really bad reaction to my contact lenses on Sunday night, and since I had an ulcer on my cornea last year, I thought I'd better go to the opticians to get it checked out. Turns out I've got a tear almost exactly where I had the ulcer (but a new one, completely unrelated to last year's episode - weird but coincidental apparently), so I spent most of yesterday in and out of the opticians for various appointments whilst they sorted it. Which left me with quite a bit of spare time on my hands to wander round the shops.
I am truly the shopping equivalent of the dieter who's faced with the smorgasbord buffet, and no where else to eat. Completely unprepared, and therefore lacking in willpower, I went shopping. I bought items shampoo, razor blades and medicated eye-drops from Boots. That's fine - they're essentials and they'll be used. A necklace from Fat Face - just about justifiable as I bought it before, wore it to death and promptly lost it, so at least I know it'll be worn regularly. Shoes. Oh dear - me and shoes. First up, flat black pumps for the office - cost £30. Fine - I need them, I'll wear them and they could have been a lot more expensive as I wanted leather ones. And then a pair of wedge sandals. For £55. Why?? Because I liked them. Are they practical? Not entirely. Did I use the 10 Second Rule? Yes. Did I listen to myself. Errrr - I think that's a resoundingly big no. And do I feel horribly guilty now? YES.
Buying things you want is meant to bring pleasure, not guilt. I don't seem to have got the hang of this yet. So there goes my surplus for the month, and the only reason I haven't hit my overdraft limit is that I thoughtfully transferred £100 from savings last week as I wasn't sure how much the weekend was going to cost. I'm a foolish, foolish girl.
It's back to the drawing board. I get paid tomorrow, and I've already jotted down the big things I know I've got to deal with this month. The £100 has to go back to my savings. I've got a wedding present to pay for, and I know I've got the balance of the hostel for Oslo to pay for, as well as spending money for the trip and probably airport parking. Ideally, I'd also like to somehow absorb the cost of the shoe splurge into this month's budget - I know this is a bit futile, as it's already spent, but at least it makes me feel like I have a bit of control - if it's in this month's budget, that's £55 I can't spend again, and hopefully will be part of whatever surplus is left at the end of the month.
This month is going to be expensive, but I must get on top of my spending - feeling this out of control the whole time is horrible.
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